lonely

what is lonely meant by?

it creeps into your every bone when you are alone

no friends,

is scary..

no body will knows you

no body will understand you

i want to go back

at least,

when i am being with my family

i would not be alone

why alone?

why lonely?

am i cool?

i don't know

what happen to my dear family?

yesterday i called my 2jie,she was crying because of her boyfriend~
i hate her boyfriend....why he like to meke my 2jie cry not once only.
i chatted with her about one hour.
let her cry out
let her voice out whatever she suffered before...
i don't want my jie jie
i don't want my jie jie to become like this
she is my dearest jie jie
among my sisters i admire she the most




another day
today
i received message from my mui mui
she told me that our house's electric had been cut
so mum call me to bank in rm150 to her
but
i don't know where can bank in the money
and
here had no any cash deposit mechine
so
although i want to help but i cannot
after that i call da jie
then i told her what mum suffered now
but then she also got no money
haih
why
WHY
why
why my family become like this
is it before this we done a serious wrong thing
so god is punishing us now
if yes
please
can it be shorten?
i don't want my parent still can't relax in this age
i want them relax and let us as their daughter can do something to them
is the time for us
i don't want to use their money anymore
i want my family
happy family and normal life back
i want the life now can be pass faster....
i don't want my family so suffering
aRHhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~

weird roommate

today i going back to ktsn one dayy earlier...
do you know what i saw in my always clean room??
my roommate is going to put her dirt thngs on my blanket and my bed
i know my bed is not clean as yours but please be a bit responsible ok??my dear roommate!!!
that is my bed if you want to put something on my bed please ask me
if not at least not your dirt blanket!!!
i pretend to be claim amd try to say wth her
and another thing
is
if usual she wil clean our room by sweeping or moping
but
today i come back not only my bed fulled with her stuff and also
the room looked ecxatly like the day we just move into this room...
it is dirt and fulled with hair and the dust!!!
usually i will called her 洁癖
but today only i know her....
i don't know this is an good event or what??!!

first day of october

today is the first day in October
i wish to have some changes in this new month
i don't like to repeat the same things like before 
only study and boring  in m university life

nothing special happen
i desire more than this....

really strange for me

that day 

my birthday

1709

morning i am late 

when i was on the way go to faculty he again sms me

he said may us meet for a while...

of course i can't reject him

because he is senior and i am ust his little buddy

so i just can reply that i wll be late and now i am on the way

when i reach faculty and i go to TIBE 

we go to meet there

i saw him 

a really alone look and waiting for someone

i know the person is me and i know he is a really good person 

but

when he give my birthday present 

i saw his eyes

but he din't express it

he really does not like to speak with me

like a stranger

but i know he is taking care for me

stranger when face to face 

but care through screen

it is not enough

really~

really horrible

今天是我第二天回到家....

我一直以来都非常地粘家

但今天我觉得我回得不是时候...

跟她吵了一架

我累了

我答应过我自己我不随便骂人

但

她今天讲的一切都让我想破例

到最后

我被气到胃痛

这时

我以不知道我是胃痛或是心比较疼

她就是永远不会长大

她就是永远只想怪罪于别人

从来没有想想或反省过

在她的世界里

家人的定义是可以怪的人

而不是可以信赖的

伤心

因为她的想法

她对家人的不信任

她永远不会明白

当爸爸和妈妈了解她时心有多疼

她不会明白... 

sweet home~

yeah!!!

today finally i am coming back already

i am very happy now!!!!

but got something happen in KL before i go to Bukit Jalil

i know how to go there but i got wrong train already...

luckily i realise and i stop before the train is diverge to Ampang line

because my line should be Sri Petaling...

HAIZ~~

but never mind this time is my wrong experience and next time i can more remember 

hahaha...

but good experience because again i explore a new road to go by myself...

another news were coming out today

that was my result coming today...

luckily again i am quite satisfy my result anyway it is not interm of As

but enough for lazy me.... 

touching day

a weird day...

my best friend suddenly don't want to dinner

i know got something to do with my birthday 

but i have no ideas what they want to do??

lastly my best friend come to my room and call me go and eat...

i feel weird but still accompany them to pretend

when i go to downstair....

they eat pizza with me

and

i doesn't expect that some guys will come and celebrate for my birthday

thanks for my all friends who wish me and celebrate for me

all friends thanks and muackssss

when i doing the PBL for the next day 

suddenly again they come to my room and celebrate again

this time different 

is with birthday cake

i  really speechless

i just can say thanks to all of them

THANKS!!!

a good day^^

today i feel very happy^^

i buy 2 jackets oline..

i like the jackets a lot...

but

something annoying me

orange girl ask me want to go to dnner tomorrow 

i don't why she will ask me and so excited want to celebrate my birthday

haiz~~

i didn't like it 

i just want to celebrate with my closer friends and my family

i plan to give suprise to my family 

i am going back on my birthday 

but they all thought i will go vack in another day

haha

i like to give this kind of suprise to them

^^

a happy day...

a friend?stranger?

today suddenly he msn me and i was shock and surprise

he say he want to give me somethings

and tomorrow we can meet and maybe can talk together...

flash back

our conservation only has two or three times and every time not more than 3 sentences then he say

goodbye to me already

from i know him until now he only talk to me about 10 sentences like that only

i dislike this relationship to be develop

he is only半生熟for me

we look like now each other since very long time ago 

but

look like we are not know each other...

why i will have this kind of relationship??

i don't want 

it is hard!! 

boring day

i really feeling bored with all PBL now...

don't know is because of that doctor or maybe i not commitment enough in PBL....

but rely i feel bored with it..

the doctor is really weird!!!

she really like to comment about me 

and the whole PBL is her show

everything we no need to say but wait for her to tell us

HAIZ...

why she as our facilitator for three times of PBL...

i want to get off from her 

i want change the doctor as my PBL facilitator


but today i found something entertain me
Be a Doll
 so i can buy the clothes there
although see only also enough liao 

today i meet my wingmate in kmm...but today still less a person.....
she is too far from us...
but luckily we are still keep in touch...
i like my wingmate
i miss them
i want together with them
although we are taking the same course
but
we are in different university
sad to be like this~

the day i can go home become nearer and nearer 

i want to go home

i miss my home

i miss my family

i miss my sweet room

i miss my large but dirty bed

i miss everything in my house

long time didn't "撒娇"with my mum already

i miss the moments

i want my home